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Another entry, another day. [Oct. 19th, 2004|04:08 pm]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |Some happenin music on the dragon channel]

Just thought I'd do a lil bit of the old updating.

Not much goin on here though.

Today I went to Allsport and bargained for cheap cheerleading shirts.
Turns out I was victorious.
I imagine at practice tonight I will be raised on shoulders and carried around the gym whilst the girls chant "Jolene is the best! Jolene is the best!"

That won't happen.....but it would be really cool nonetheless.

Plans are in the making of a trip to hawaii with megan, ayla, and tanya in december of 2005. I AM PUMPED.

I am so very sick right now. It is really terrible and I wish I were not sick. I have a stuffy nose and I keep sneezing and I have an unbearably sore throat. It's the worst. :-(

I'm off to some fall feast thing right now.
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I'm baaaaack [Nov. 28th, 2003|03:36 am]
[mood |sleepysleepy]
[music |"All by myself" -Celine Dion...how pathetic]

Im back
mostly so people don't get all pissed off at me when i write about them on my xanga....saves me a lot of stress.

p.s. killian's irish red tends to make everything allllll better *yawn*
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hmmm [Oct. 16th, 2001|11:44 pm]
this is my new and improved journal where i will only write nice things because my parents read this apparently. so anyways, i have another journal for bad things...if you want to read that just let me know.
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i have a new journal [Oct. 11th, 2001|10:53 pm]
alright so i had to change my lj name bc i just made the discovery that my parents have been readin my journal,anything and everything...bah! so just IM me on aim(at sugarzero) if you want to know my new name, mom and dad, this does not apply to you...no offense
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(no subject) [Oct. 11th, 2001|09:49 pm]
I forgot some things.
First off, parents...dad's still trying to buy my love,always has, always will. Mom is always on my case about me being a messy person, she seems to think it's funny making jokes about it every 5 minutes but it sure does annoy the hell out of me. Who am I to update my journal without mention of the rents...silly me
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: ( [Oct. 11th, 2001|09:26 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Hope by Sublime]

I don't know what's been up with me lately...I have really not been myself at all. I've been moody,pissed off,angry,disgruntled,sad,and really really bitchy. I don't know what's wrong with me or what's causing it. It could be all the stress I have on me. I have a C+ in econ and I have absolutely no idea what's going on and I desperately need to get that grade up...i've been really sick lately which makes me really mad..I worked for 4 years to get in a musical and I don't want to miss a second of it, even if I'm coughing and have a headache. On the other hand, I wish I knew how to sing so that I didn't feel like such an incompetant moron when we have vocals and I don't know how to sing a D#. Maybe I worry too much...I never just go with the moment, I'm always thinking about what's happening next and what's happening after that,maybe I need to just let time flow instead of giving it specific times for things to happen. It could be that I'm unsure of myself,I only say this because look at how many times I've said "maybe", why not just a "yes" or "no", why maybe? I know nobody understood that because half the time people don't understand me and they most certainly aren't afraid to tell me that. They're not afraid to tell me how dumb they think I am or how I dunno, the only time people say nice things to them is when I lend them a quarter or something to go buy water...other than that it's all negativity. And speaking of people being nice...I feel like I'm losing my best friends. We never spend time together anymore and things are definitely not the way they used to be. It's obvious when you have to schedule plans with a friend a month in advance that things have changed in your relationship. That makes me really sad,it's our senior year and it's supposed to be the best year of our lives with our friends...and so far it's been anything but that. The last time me,ayla,tanya,and megan have all done something together was almost 2 months ago...that's really too bad, i miss them. I wish that everyone could get along too, all this fighting between people is driving me nuts. I don't see why people can't just get along... :( I wish my knees would get better, they're really inteferring with my dancing and it's making me feel horrible about my skills as a dancer. The fact that I've been sick lately doesn't help too much either. I wish I could take jazz classes too, or hip hop. I was pretty good at those forms of dancing..but I guess I'll just have to wait til I get to college. Speaking of college, oh wow. I have no money and my top choice is the U of M...from what I've heard, you need a 22 on your ACT,i have a 21. If I don't do good on the next act test i'm completely screwed and i'll end up going to msu...I need to get out of this town sooooo damn badly, I don't know what I'll do if I don't get to leave. I don't know what I want to be either, and that's something I need to decide soon. I'm going to be out in the world in less than 5 years and I thought I wanted to be a psychologist, but if I can't understand my own feelings how the hell am I supposed to help other people solve their problems. Life is so fucking screwed up that way sometimes. It makes me mad, I wish I could just be reborn and start a whole new life and make things work for me. Hah! Like that'll ever happen, oh well, a girl can dream huh. And speaking of dreaming..mike. I don't know what's up with him. He saw me at McD's tonight and completely took off in the other direction and I don't know how I'm supposed to take that when he told me he still likes me and argh....me and him have such a complicated past and I haven't really talked to him in a while so how am I supposed to know what he's thinking! And thinking,wow there's something I need to stop doing right now, I'm overanalyzing way too much tonight and what I need to be doing is studying for my damn econ test which I'm going to be failing tomorrow. Thanks for listening... oh and by the way, i think my depression's coming back...bah!

Love Jolene
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(no subject) [Aug. 19th, 2001|02:16 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Moulin Rouge soundtrack]

I was just playing the sims, and i thought to myself,what if that's all we are? what if some guy(a really tall guy, heh) is playing a game called the earthlings and all our moves are controlled, when we go to bed, what we do for entertainment, where we work at. There could be a billion other earths out there too then, hmmm, interesting thoughts.
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Grrr [Aug. 18th, 2001|03:32 pm]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |Be Like That- 3 Doors Down]

I'm so fucking pissed off right now! My dad read my mail today and Paul acted like a total ass to me yesterday when i wandered into the wrong M&H. What the hell is people's problem! Also, my friend peter tried to convince me that i was going to hell for not believing in god,yadda yadda yaddda. I say I won't shove atheism down your throat if you don't shove christianity down mine. It makes me so mad when people do that! I feel like hitting something right now, but I don't have a punching bag or anything. Maybe I should get one so that I have something to take my anger out on. God he acts like such a moron sometimes. He assumes that all I like is money and that he can win my love by it, well that's total b.s. Maybe if he gave me my privacy and acted like a REAL dad i would like him better. Maybe if he was actually around the house more he could do that. Brandt today told me that he thought my parents were divorced because my dad is never around. something is seriously wrong with that. Grrrrr....I'm in such a bitchy mood and I don't care. I have a cold too and that pisses me off.
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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2001|12:29 am]
I used to think everybody had some good in them, tonight I was proven wrong...
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... [Aug. 11th, 2001|04:08 pm]
What is wrong with people today! Why can't everybody just get along. I'm assuming this warm milk person knows me since he's friends emily and kristen, sigh, what do you have against me? What did I do to you? I should start writing poetry again now that I have anger inside again. I have the time. It's not like I'll be able to dance much, I hurt my knee at trollwood and now I have to go to physical therapy a lot. That makes me really upset, this is my senior year, it was supposed to be my best year in ballet of my life. I was supposed to get a solo, I was supposed to be there with my friends 4 hours a week, and well now I'm stuck with doctors and nurses at the hospital. I'm feeling very meloncholy right now, I don't care if people think I'm stupid for feeling sorry for myself because I do. I'm so frustrated at my life right now. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself after high school, I don't know if I'll be able to go to college. I wish I could go dance out my feelings right now, but sigh, I fell down the stairs last night and landed on my knee(the floor at the bottom is cement). I wish I had a religion that I could find believable because that's something I could really use right now. I feel so lost...
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